Love languages clarify how you want to be loved. Attachment styles focus on how you connect. Both relate to independence but you’d do well to specifically consider the proximity, frequency, and amount of time you want to spend with your partner.
In other words: How much space do you need?
Some people prefer relationships with a lot of communication and time together. Some prefer the opposite. Others lean toward a balance that’s hard to describe but they know what it is and it works for them.
Whether it’s behavioral (dictated by personality and disposition) or situational (driven by circumstances or proximity) time together is a Critical Compatibility™ that you and your partner should align on: How much time and space do you need together and apart?
Some things are hard to put in words. Such is the case for chemistry in the first place and independence or relationship space which follow soon after.
To help rate your need for space, plot where you think you are on the continuum below. This will help you visualize and understand with far more precision than words alone.
It’s important to consider your rating in the context of your partner’s rating. For the relationship to work, you both need to fall in the same general area, adjacent if not the same. The numbers are a guide; you can mark yourself anywhere along the scale.
Keep in mind there’s a difference between a person’s ongoing need for space and times when they just need to settle in or get away for a while. We all need to allow for that kind of space.
To instantly identify all of your Critical Compatibilities,™ click here for a free 90 second quiz.
