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Secure: Does That Describe Your Partner?

How important is it for your partner to be a secure person? Believe it or not, some people prefer to be with someone who’s anxious or insecure. Some even choose people, unwittingly, who are emotionally or otherwise unavailable. That typically doesn’t end well.

Depending on your personality and needs, it’s best for you to possess the same degree of certain qualities as your partner; respect is an example. Sometimes you’re better off as opposites. For the secure person, it can work either way.

Most of the time, people don’t really consider who they are or what they need. They’re not self-aware. So, they go on and on and on, from relationship to relationship, and never land; they never know what they genuinely offer and absolutely need, what we call, Critical Compatibilities™.

Attachment theory, a branch of psychology rooted in childhood bonding, speaks of 4 styles of attaching in relationships: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. Learning your attachment style, and the kind you pair up with best, is an exercise worth exploring. That’s one context for defining a secure person.

A more common definition is someone who’s considered stable, confident, rational, in control of their emotions. As with most of the 21 traits, you can define yourself and your partner in degrees, toward or away the extreme: You can be very secure, somewhat secure, insecure, very insecure, and so on. And it’s entirely possible for you to prefer and relate better to someone who’s not just like you.

For this trait, consider how secure of a person you are first, then how secure you need your person to be.

To identify your Critical Compatibilities™ and instantly start finding better matches now click here  to take the free 90 second quiz.